I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.
Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.
I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”
you know that quiet girl in class?
yeah she goes home and makes fun of you all on tumblr
- timothy over here askin’ for nudes when all u did was say hello
- connor who won’t calm down with his axe spray tryna infect ya lungs
- colin adding #420 to his bio when he smoked weed one time
- gregory mad cause u didn’t blow him after the first date
how to spot a fuckboy:
- white nike tube socks with his adidas sandals
- he wants to play 20 questions (!!!!!!!!! do not play !!!!!!!!!!! especially if there’s a “;)” involved)
- relies on his mom but doesn’t respect women
- looks like he just read one of jaden smith’s tweets in all of his selfies
- can’t find the clitoris
fuckboys come in all shapes and sizes and results may vary but when he a fuckboy…he a fuckboy…and u will know
to anyone having a bad day im so sorry also here are some pictures of baby elephants
feel better friend
I need to kiss you so badly. One of those kisses where I’m pressing against you as much as possible and my hands are in your hair and moving down your back, clutching to you in any way I can, kissing you as deeply as possible and thinking you’re mine, mine mine.
So one time, one of my guy friends said, “I’m pretty sure I’m straight but I’ve never slept with a man so how do I know for sure if I’m not bisexual or gay” and so he actually went and picked up a guy, had sex with him and after ward he said, “Well that was fun but I appear to be straight.” and just went on with his life without making a big deal about his dip into homosexuality and really, I think everybody should be this relaxed about sexualities